Boone Life: Good, Familiar

Yesterday morning, after snacking on a couple Snickerdoodle cookies from our party the night before, I made a bowl of fruit salad: watermelon, strawberries, and blueberries drizzled with syrup made from sugar, water, and oranges. I put on a blue cotton dress and a flannel shirt, and Bret made me stand outside to make sure I wouldn’t freeze since it was only 44 degrees outside. In May. Surprisingly, I didn’t freeze! I’m acclimating.

We got in the car, and drove 20 minutes to our friends’ house. Ten minutes of that drive were spent driving up, up, up a narrow mountain road. As usual, we couldn’t rely on the GPS completely. Something about winding gravel roads on a remote mountain doesn’t scream “priority” to google, I’ve learned. More than once, when trying to navigate home at night from a friend’s house, we’ve been stranded without GPS signal… or phone signal! Thankfully, Bret has an incredible sense of direction.

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Three Years of Marriage

Bret and I have been married for three incredible years.

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I clearly remember driving up from Florida three years ago and wondering if the snowstorm making it’s way through Virginia was going to prevent our vendors and guests from making it to our wedding. The sky was clear and the sunshine was warm and we just laughed because we knew we were heading into a blizzard. It’s funny what you remember. Continue reading

Running the Disney Princess Half Marathon

So, in case you missed the earlier posts, I registered for my first half marathon last summer, trained for six months, and very much enjoyed my Disney vacation leading up to the race.

…which brings us to RACE DAY! Finally.

Sunday February 21, 2016
We woke up at 3:00AM. I managed to get a decent night’s sleep and even woke up a few minutes before my alarm clock which was a great way to start the day, but I still felt a lot of race day nerves. Continue reading

Disney Half Marathon Vacay

When I signed up to run the Disney Princess half marathon in the middle of winter, I don’t think I realized just how badly I would need an escape from my first winter in Boone. I’d been uncomfortably cold for months. After six months of training, I was so ready for this race and for the four-day Disney vacation that came with it!

Thursday
After waking up at 3:30am (let’s call this a practice wake up call for race day) and driving for 10 hours, we checked in to our hotel. The drive was long, but we didn’t mind. We love Florida. We miss Florida. Driving to Florida felt like a breath of fresh air and sunshine after being trapped in the mountains for nine months. Continue reading

How I trained for my first half marathon

I’ll just begin by saying that running in the Disney Princess Half Marathon was everything I hoped for and more. I truly couldn’t be happier with my results or the experience, and even though I am exhausted and sore and possibly injured, I’m mostly just sad that it’s over. I’m going to share all of the details (AND PICTURES) soon, but first, I wanted to write a blog post about my half marathon training process.

I still can’t thank my friend Brandi enough for convincing me to register for this thing. When she asked me to run 13.1 miles with her – my first half marathon – my immediate thought was, YAY DISNEY WORLD followed quickly by, I don’t know if I can do this. I remember almost saying no. I remember almost signing up for the 10K instead, but I did it. I talked it over with Bret and he was completely encouraging and supportive so I registered for my first half marathon. I committed to running 13.1 miles, and then the training began! Continue reading

De-activated: Life after Facebook

A couple weeks ago, I deactivated my facebook account.

de·ac·ti·vate

1. make (something, typically technical equipment or a virus) inactive by disconnecting or destroying it.

“the switch deactivates the alarm”

synonyms:

disable, defuse, disarm, disconnect, inactivate, make inoperative, immobilize, stop, turn off

“don’t forget to deactivate the alarm”

Yes. I needed to disable the virus that is facebook from having a role in my life. I decided to do this for a few reasons.

  1. I needed a break. I needed a timeout. I was in the habit of checking my facebook account way too often. I relied on it too much as a method of communication, but even more as a mindless distraction. I used to sign in to facebook at my dorm room computer once a day. Now, as a 29-year-old adult, I was sliding my thumb over my smart phone app several times an hour. AN HOUR. And for what reason? I needed to break the addiction.
  2. I needed to feel better. Even though I’d say I use facebook with good intentions: to catch up with my friends and see how everyone is doing, I always end up feeling worse than before I looked at it. I can’t explain why that is, really. …I’ll try. I felt isolated and jealous of the tiny pieces of former friends lives that they were choosing to share on the internet… which brings me to the next point.
  3. My Facebook friends are not my friends. I have some good friends who I actually talk to. We talk on the phone and make an effort to spend time together in person. I trust them and I care about them. And then I have facebook friends. Every time I update my facebook status, I’m sharing news with an anonymous audience of 500 people. Sure, I knew each of these individuals at some point in my life: a former classmate; a former co-worker. But the assumption that they are going to see, read, and care about something I post makes me feel entitled, selfish, and lazy. The fact that I may not have personally spoken (or texted, or emailed) with someone in 8 years but I know their dog’s name, where they went on vacation last summer, and what they ate for lunch today is WEIRD. I’m convinced that’s why my 10-year-reunion felt so weird.

So, I’m taking a break, and while I do feel a bit disconnected, I feel a lot better in general. So many of my friends post negative or insensitive things. I’d hidden most of them, but, honestly, that’s taxing. These days, I’m making an effort to write more letters, to text more friends, and to stay in touch on a personal level because I WANT to, not because I feel obligated to be one of the ‘likes’ on a photo you posted.

One thing I hated about facebook is the lack of intimacy. When you wish a friend happy birthday, and you may say something like, “Happy Birthday to one of the most amazing friends and most talented women I know!” …it seems disingenuous to me. Because you aren’t writing this in a birthday card for her to read and hold on to, you’re shouting it to the world along with a collage of pictures of the two of you that scream, LOOK WE ARE FRIENDS AND HERE IS PROOF. That message is not just designed to make your friend feel good, it’s designed to make YOU feel good. And, I know everyone won’t agree with me, but I also think a status like that is designed to to showcase your friendship and status to see how to rates with her other friends. In turn, you’re making everyone else feel a little bit bad, or a little bit left out.

I never *really* thought about this until I listened to a podcast where 12-year-old girls were talking about Instagram rules and expectations for liking and commenting on photos. I still have my Instagram, by the way. I’m not addicted in the same way and I don’t use it in the same way so I think this is okay for me right now, but if that ever changes, it’s going, too.

One more thing. The ONLY thing about I truly miss about facebook is Humans of New York: https://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork/

Fortunately, you don’t need a facebook account to view the content. If you have a faceobok account and by some impossible feat have not yet discovered Humans of New York, please go “like” the page. It will brighten your news feed and make you feel things and give you some much needed world perspective in a sea of mindless updates.

2015: Year of Adjustments

A few months ago, while Bret and I were shopping at the Outlets, I spotted a pair of heavy-duty waterproof boots. Our Boone friends had lectured me whenever I showed up to their homes in flats. You’ll need a good pair of boots. So I bought them. And I waited patiently for the first snowflake. All October. All November. And then, in mid-December, it snowed just a little. I laced up my new boots. I crunched in the thin layer of snow on our front deck. I took a picture of the boots in the snow to validate the purchase. And I thought: This is my Boone life.

Boots

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Harrisonburg is my Homeland

When someone asks me where I’m from, I usually answer like this,

“Well, I just moved here from Tallahassee, FL; but I’m originally from Richmond, VA; and I work in Washington DC, so I go up there a lot, too.”

I’ve learned this kind of answer is very normal in academia. In fact, I met someone last week who met me word for word. She responded with, “Oh, I love Tallahassee! I grew up in Jacksonville, FL. And I went to college in DC. And, yep, I lived in Richmond for a bit before I was in Texas.” And, by the way, she just moved here (to Boone, NC) from Cleveland. Continue reading

Friendship

This past weekend was wonderful.

Once a year, three of my best friends from high school get together for a girls weekend. We always go somewhere new and spend a few days catching up and talking about life. And we always pose for a picture like this on a balcony, or, in this case, balcony looking object.

2015_balcony pic

It’s one of my favorite traditions. Continue reading

Just Another Post-Grad Struggle

I’m not good at goodbyes. It’s not that I usually break down and cry or avoid them at all cost, it’s just that I tend to not realize the fullness of something being over until, well, it’s gone. I was all smiles saying goodbye to my sister in a Mexican restaurant parking lot in May of 2012 until she said, “Well, I guess this is the last time I’ll see you before you move to Florida…” and I LOST it. I honestly had not grasped the fact that I was moving 14 hours away until that very moment.

I’m a post-griever.

I remember being at one of my first JMU football games and it hit me SO HARD that I wasn’t in high school color guard anymore. I cried. Where were those tears during my last color guard performance? It just hadn’t sunk in until months after the fact.

Throughout college, every summer, and in grad school, I lived within a few minutes of all of my friends. I saw the same faces on a regular basis: in class, for lunch, at work, in the library — and that was just a typical week day. If I was lonely, I could almost always find someone to meet for dinner or coffee or a drink on the Dave’s rooftop. It was so wonderful to have that built-in community for so many years.

Everyone was so emotional at graduation; they “couldn’t believe it was over,” but I don’t think I really got it. Part of the reason was because while most of my friends were moving away for jobs or moving back home, I had the pleasure of staying in Harrisonburg for work and grad school for a couple more years. Still, even though I wasn’t saying goodbye to the JMU community just yet, I don’t think I really considered how I would not be seeing my friends on that regular of a basis again. Ever. I remember reassuring everyone, “I’ll see you again soon! Really!” But, of course, six years later, I’ll be the first to tell you that wasn’t true. I haven’t seen some of those people since graduation day.

Grandkids_6

Don’t worry. That’s my sister and my favorite person in the world. We’ve managed to stay in touch 🙂

It’s one of the unexpected challenges of post-graduation “adult” life: keeping up with your friends. It’s been ten years since I graduated from high school, six since I graduated from college, and four since I graduated from grad school. In those years, I’ve lived in Harrisonburg, VA, Washington, D.C., Florida and now North Carolina. With every move, I’ve struggled to stay in touch with my long-distance friends and family.

I say struggle because it’s been a struggle. While some people kind of passively let friendships go (which I think is fine and healthy in a lot of cases) I have done pretty much everything in my power to keep these old friendships alive. I schedule regular Skype dates (or Google Hangout dates!), I write hand-written letters, I’ve implemented text-a-day communications with various groups of friends, and, occasionally I make a good old fashioned phone call. I love getting a letter from a friend I haven’t seen in years. I love hearing how someone’s day is going via text or through a catch-up phone call. It helps, but nothing can replace that neighborly love of being able to knock on a door and grab food together. Life keeps happening even though we’re apart, and sometimes, I really do wish I could live in the same town as my friends and family.

The best catch-up time is always in-person. It just is. That’s why I love weddings. That’s why I love reunions. That’s why I’m so excited for my annual girls weekend that’s coming up in a few weeks!

balcony pic

It’s also why I’m so happy to be living within a few hours (approximately 5) of my hometown. Within the past few years, a lot of my friends have re-migrated back to our hometown and living in North Carolina allows for spontaneous weekend trips which is so different from my Florida life. I’ve only lived here for a month, but in that time I’ve grabbed lunch and dinner with friends I haven’t seen in YEARS and it’s been fantastic.

Christy2  Sindhu

How do you keep up with long-distance friends? How do you make new friends? It was so much easier in school!