Find out who your friends are.

The best life advice I can offer is to create and maintain authentic relationships. Friends share emotions with you, build you up, and help you define and redefine your identity. Friends support you. Friends save you.

I’m not sure how to distinguish when a person moves from acquaintance to friend to basic life necessity, but I think it has something to do with the realization that that person is actually a part of you. They enter your mind as you are trying to unravel a thought. And their presence is a comfort – never a surprise or inconvenience.

Old friends are especially wonderful because they have a link to your past that gives them perspective that you may have lost. I just had an opportunity to reconnect with an old friend over ice cream and it was wonderful. Our conversation is actually what inspired this post. I think it says a lot when you can go years without talking to someone and immediately fall into a comfortable rhythm. It demonstrates that you are, in fact, friends, even if you don’t get to see each other all that often. Our friendship is in the memories.

I have a long-distance friend with whom I write letters. She is my best, my journal, my confidante. Its an incredible feeling to be able to write down all of my joys and fears and frustrations and then send them away to a friend. This girl is hilarious, brilliant, and nonjudgmental, and I am just so grateful for her. Our friendship is in the letters.

I’m trying not to be too cheesy here, but I don’t think anything else in the world is more important than your relationships with other people.

I tend to feel invested in people’s lives shortly after meeting them. Its probably the RA in me. I feel sad when I lose touch with someone I care(d) about, but it happens sometimes. I just think its really important to hold onto the people who you care about. And listen to people you care about. And forgive people you care about. Ultimately people (before money or good planning) will get you out of a bad place. Friends support you. Friends save you. Love them, trust them, and forgive them. That’s everything.

And now, a poem. Or rather, a country song.

“Find out who your friends are” by Tracy Lawrence
You find out who you’re friends are
Somebody’s gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas get there fast
Never stop to think ‘what’s in it for me’ or ‘it’s way too far’
They just show on up with their big old heart
You find out who you’re friends are

4 thoughts on “Find out who your friends are.

  1. Well said Nicole Lee 🙂 I could definitely relate to this post in so many ways. But most of all, as I read it, I realized you were also speaking of our friendship, in a sense. Indeed, we’re band members and fellow WRTC followers, but this summer, we’ve reached a closeness that wasn’t there before. I’m not sure what I would have done without you during these past couple months. You’ve been there in the simplest ways that a great friend can be; we’ve listened to each others’ life stories and provided raw and honest advice as best we could. What more can you ask from a friend than to simply be there? I can not thank you enough for being that friend for me.

    Have an amazing time at the wedding this weekend, Boston for the next few weeks, and then the Outer Banks. I can’t wait to hear all about it when you get back. 🙂

  2. You are absolutely right and our friendship really inspired this post, too. I feel like you know pretty much EVERYTHING about me now, and I’m glad you do being that we’re in a band together and all.

    Friendships operate on their own time schedules. You can know someone for years and years and never really bare your soul to them, or you can meet someone in a life crisis who becomes your other half. I’m at a completely comfortable level with you now that you know my life story. I really value your insight and perspective and most of all your friendship. <3

  3. I’m really glad to be your friend, Nicole. I just wish I could be one of those every day friends like the good ole days. This is a great post and so very, very true!

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